You Talkin' to Me?!

(image courtesy of blissfullydomestic.com)

I would have denied this adamantly as a teenager, but I had a real problem with authority.  (And I’m sure my parents are nodding and smiling now.  Thanks, guys.)

What I mean by that is I wanted to be the boss.  Of everything.  I wanted control over my friendships, my future, my love life – all of it.

I just didn’t get it.

College revealed my heart a little more, as I realized how my attitude went nasty anytime I was under the authority of someone I didn’t necessarily like or respect.  That, in my book, was a free ticket for me to disregard him or her completely.  How dare he treat me that way?  How dare she tell me what to do?

Then I got married. 

Stop laughing.

I got up-close and personal with my authority issues.  Here I was, a new bride, in love with my husband.  I respected and trusted him totally.  But I somehow still held onto control with white knuckles.  Where was this coming from? 

That’s when God opened my eyes to Romans 13. 

Ah, Romans.  Always as gentle as a brick to the face.

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.  The authorities that exist have been established by God.  Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. (verses 1-2)

What?!  I am rebelling against God?  Oh, surely not.  But here comes the good part.

Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority?  (YES!  I just want to be free from him or her completely!!) Then do what is right and he will commend you. (verse 3b)

This passage put a spotlight on some dark places in my soul, and it helped me put Christ’s face over the face of my authority – to trust HIM first and to recognize that he put this person in my life for a purpose. 

It doesn’t mean I obey this authority if he or she asks me to contradict scripture, of course.  But it means I obey and I listen because of what God Himself has established in my life.

And that has made a big fat difference in my marriage, my work, and my attitude toward all authority.

When have you been challenged to respect and obey authority?  How did you do?

She Taught Me This

On Sunday morning, my Grandma went home to her Savior and home.  I have been comforted by the thought of what she's experiencing right now...seeing her beloved Lord, her siblings and parents, her daughter who died unexpectedly at the age of 18...

You can read more about her life here:

Dignity Memorial - Marjorie Stuart Obituary: View Obituary for Marjorie Stuart by Zechar Bailey Funeral Home, Greenville, OH

She taught me to be kind to everyone - the postman, the clerk at the grocery store, the stranger at the park.

She taught me to be modest and honor God with the way I dressed and presented myself.

She taught me that hospitality and making good food for people is a precious ministry we often take for granted.  Open your home, open your heart.

She taught me by example to honor and serve my husband.  Her God came first, and then she served my Grandpa, right up until she was physically incapable to continue.  She didn't complain; she didn't speak unkindly of him; she loved him and she respected him day after day. 

I am hard pressed to find many women like this anymore.

Your Dream is Too Small

 

I had a dream...once. 

If you've seen the movie Tangled, you know that's a line that starts one of the best show tunes in Disney history.  But this isn't about a cartoon.  This is about you.

What are your dreams?

Seriously.  When you were 10 years old, what were your biggest dreams?  Can you remember?

I remember mine.  I had quite a few.  And they all involved a microphone and a stage. 

I know -- hard to believe, right?

I read this book (pictured above) to my classes today.  It made me want to dream bigger and crazier than ever before. 

Forget fear.  Forget your age. 

Let's go. 

Built-in Happiness

A happy girl :)

We are loving the beginnings of warm weather around here -- thunderstorms, sunshine, and that neon-green shade the leaves are in May.  Glorious.

I don't think I'm one of those people whose mood changes with the sun or lack thereof, but I can see how difficult it would be to cultivate inner sunshine when the clouds won't go away. 

Bob Dylan once said that his wife had a "built-in happiness" that never ran out.  He said her happiness never depended on him, and he loved that about her.  I pray my husband can say that about me.  I pray my children can say that about me!  How can I build happiness inside me, a well that never runs dry?

* Hang out with Jesus every day.  I'm a prayer-writer.  I have to have a pen in hand when I pray, or it's not happenin'.  I must go to the source of joy itself if this is going to work.

* Surround myself with positive, encouraging people.  Go away, grumpy.  You are drying up my joy well.

* Remember that moods come and go, but a spirit is built over time.  It's okay to have a bad day.  It's okay to be crabby every once in awhile.  But choose joy and find something to laugh about, for cryin' to Pete.

Three Tips for a Beautiful Soul

In my fortune cookie today, I read:

"A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul lasts forever."

And now I can't stop thinking...what does that really mean?  How does one go about developing a beautiful soul?

As we age, we have a choice.  We can become more selfish, believing we have earned the right to say and do whatever we want.  We can forget our mission and decide to check-out, thinking our time has passed and we should let the next generation take over.

Or, we can cultivate a more beautiful soul through...

Loving the unlovable.  Touching them. Choosing to be with them when we'd rather be anywhere else.

Praying and spending time with God.   I say He's number one, but how does that translate to my real life?  How different would my life be if I increased my time with him instead of with my toys?

Holding my hand open.  Everything I own belongs to God.  You want to borrow my car?  Go ahead.  Come stay with me; I have room!  This is His and He may use it as He sees fit. 

And even as I write these, I am thinking -- epic fail, Jeannie.  But He has given me today and I can make today different.  I can love NOW.  In this moment, right where I am.

The Girl with the Red Hair

I had never seen her before in my life. 

But suddenly she was under God's spotlight. 

This past Sunday, I visited a church I'd never been to before to help lead worship with a friend.  When I saw this girl -- early twenties? -- I was immediately drawn to her and I didn't know why.  The pastor mentioned that today was her bridal shower because she was getting married in two weeks! 

Suddenly, I felt that tapping that only the Holy Spirit can do. 

You need to talk to this girl.

I do?

Yes.  Today.  You need to start hanging out with her.

I do? Why?

She's getting married.

Okay...

She needs someone to talk to.

Okay.  Yes.  Thank you.  Help me not look stupid.

No promises.

So, after church, I turned around (how kind of the Lord to put her close by so I wouldn't chicken out) and introduced myself and congratulated her on her upcoming wedding.

"You might think I have lost my mind, but would you like to go out for coffee sometime and talk about marriage, life, and anything else on your mind?"

She said sure!  Then we laughed, I gave her my number, and I hope to see her Saturday.

Hey, listening to the Lord isn't always easy.  I sat there in my purple church chair arguing with God for several minutes:  I don't have time, and she probably doesn't either.  I'm sure she has great friends and a support system; she doesn't need me.  I have nothing to offer and I have sooo much to learn myself.

But God should not be argued with.  Obey.  Immediately.  Ask questions later.

This is my new motto.

Lukewarm vs. Obsessed

The book Crazy Love has been out there for about 4 years now.  A New York Times Bestseller, Crazy Love by Francis Chan rocked a lot of Christians out their lukewarm funk, creating passionate believers with a new-found obsession for Jesus.

I was not one of them.

I read the book when it first came out, thought it was great, but it certainly didn't transform my life or create in me desires to change anything about my lifestyle.  I thought I was okay.  Not really lukewarm, but not really obsessed either. 

As God would have it, our class at church is studying this book together.  Aaron and I are teaching the chapter entitled "Obsessed."  Every chapter is convicting, but this one is more like smacking into a wall in the middle of the night.  Here are a few statements from that chapter:

A person who is obsessed with Jesus is more concerned with his or her character than comfort.

A person who is obsessed thinks about Heaven frequently.  These people orient their lives around eternity.

People obsessed with God are known as givers, not takers.  They genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world.

And then some statements about the lukewarm:

Lukewarm people give money to charity and to the church...as long as it doesn't impinge on their standard of living.

Lukewarm people are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act.  They assume such action is for "extreme" Christians, not average ones.  Lukewarm people call "radical" what Jesus expected of all His followers.

Lukewarm people think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven.  Daily life is focused on today's to-do list, this week's schedule, and next month's vacation.  Rarely, if ever, do they intently consider the life to come.

I read these statements, and I hear two voices in my head - one spouting "But, but!!" and another whispering, "This is you."  And I know which voice is true.

There is no excuse for not being obsessed with the Savior.  There is no excuse for not giving away what I have in the name of Jesus.  No excuses for seriously loving what He loves (the poor, the fatherless, the widow, the lost) and hating what He hates (sin, hypocrisy, empty religious activity).

Faith without works is dead, dead, dead.  And I'm not saying I know what this looks like.  I can't judge anyone except myself because that's not my job. 

But I am not obsessed.  God help me.

Your turn:  How do you know someone is obsessed with Jesus?  Do you think they're weird?  Or do you admire their passion and pray for a fresh spirit?

A Letter to Myself at 16

Oh, just look at you. You're having so much fun right now.   I like the fact that you don't even realize how frizzy your hair is or that you are facing the wrong direction.  It's all good.

There are a few things I want you to remember as you grow up.

 1.  Never apologize for being yourself.  You are enthusiastic, weird, and a little loud.  But you know what?  That's okay.  Be original. 2.  You should never go to Canada.  You always run into bad luck when you visit that country.  Trust me. 3.  Your little brother is actually going to become one of your best friends.  I know, I know, this one is hard to swallow, but in just a few short months, you will go to college and you'll actually miss him.  Would you stop rolling your eyes?  Thank you. 4.  Whitney Houston will drown in a bathtub.  Didn't she almost have it all? 5.  You WILL find true love.  He's very tall and he's very quiet, so you have to pay attention.  He's the best thing that will ever happen to you.   6.  Pay attention to your English teachers.  Just sayin'. 7.  Don't give away your vinyl records just yet - they will be really cool someday.   8.  It might be wise to wait a little bit on that driver's license.  You really don't need it right now.  Maybe you could use a little practice.  Are you even listening anymore? 9.  Sing, sing, and then sing some more. 10.  Tell your parents how much you love them.  Every. Day. 

Dear Mom in the check-out lane,

I see you in the grocery store, picking up that sippy cup AGAIN because your toddler is in the "throwing" stage.  He kicks his legs from the front of the cart with delight.  It's fun to make you pick that up, Mama!  I'm watching your baby watch you, as he wonders if you will scold him or tease him.  You put the sippy cup in the diaper bag and whisper something in his ear that makes him smile without teeth.

I want to give you a box of chocolates.  I want to sing your praises in front of these strangers.

I'm sure you've already learned this, but it's so easy to be hard and hard to be easy.  I shamefully admit, my default mode is harsh.  It just is.  A snappy comment here, a quick retort there- I embarrass myself daily with the way I act with my children sometimes.  Why can't my default be kinder?  Easier? Is it any wonder I hear them treat each other with harsh words as well?

Humbling myself before my children is slowly becoming more of a habit.  Working through our heart issues and loving each other well -- this is what I pray becomes the language of our home.

So, Mom in Wal-Mart, I high-five you, girl.  This is hard work.  This is the greatest role you will every play in the great drama of life.   Don't give up now.

Thankful Thoughts (and Snoopy)

I remember when the kids were small and we'd constantly remind them to say "thank you."

It took awhile to learn the "TH" sound, so we heard a lot of:

Tank You!

or my favorite,

Fank You!

I was pretty surprised this morning when I learned how my oldest child recently gave thanks for ....well, for being punished. 

Apparently, his teacher had given him a writing assignment as a consequence and he literally thanked her.  (His sense of justice has always been strong.)  I couldn't help but think I would never have had the same reaction.  Instead, I would probably have pouted and had a pity party. 

But thankfulness?  Wow.  See how that changes the entire circumstance?

Likewise, we are called to be thankful even in the midst of discipline or challenge. 

It's not even a choice -- it's a command:  be thankful!

"To give thanks in solitude is enough..." - Victor Hugo



What Do You Think?

When I entered the classroom as a teacher for the first time, I was amazed at the overwhelming desire to be liked.  I tried to suppress it -- being liked was not my goal as a teacher.  But I was young.  Sometimes I felt  like I was still surrounded by peers, not students.

Now I am older than my students by DECADES and I really thought those feelings would be gone.  But they stubbornly linger.  I've come to see that being liked is just a universal desire, whether you are a teacher, a mom, a doctor, or a politician.  The danger is allowing the desire to be liked to change and alter who you are and how you evaluate yourself.  

I recently had a conversation with someone who was weighed down by the expectations and opinions of others.  We debated and analyzed these various opinions until finally I almost shouted, "Oh, who CARES what anyone thinks?!?"  It was so freeing to remember that the only opinion that truly matters is God's. 

 What's that quote that always makes me nervous?  "Love God, and do as you please."   If we truly love Him, we can do as we please because our "doing" is in line with His love.

To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best,

night and day,

to make you everybody else ---

means to fight the hardest battle

which any human being can fight;

and never stop fighting.

- e.e. cummings

Retreating

When I was around 10 or 11 years old, I discovered a wonderful place in my elementary school.

 It was "the sick room."  

Every school has one.  The place they send you if you complain of a tummy-ache, or a bad headache, or a wicked hangnail, if you're lucky.  

I had developed a pattern.  Everyday I would get a terrible stomach ache when it was time for Social Studies with Mrs. Laverne.  (Names have been changed in case she comes for me.)

She was so intimidating, I get nervous just writing this.  She had a Mrs. in front of her name, but I didn't believe she was female.  Everything else about her yelled MAN and that scared me to death.  She never smiled, spoke harshly most of the time, and I just couldn't take it anymore.

This is not that room, by the way.  But pretty close!  (This what happens when you google "images of rooms with a window.")  It was cool and dark with small clean beds and a window like this one.  I would lay there, missing geography lessons, and savor the solitude of that room while watching clouds move across a blue sky.      

I couldn't stay there, of course.  I wouldn't want to miss lunch or recess!  And eventually, I had to conquer my fear of Man/Woman Teacher and get my butt back up there, but it's funny what you remember from your childhood.  Funny how you repeat patterns you learn as a kid.

I think we all need a room like this, a place to retreat when life gets scary or hard.  The tricky thing is, knowing when to go and when not to go.  There have been days when I've wanted DESPERATELY to retreat, but I've had to close my eyes, grit my teeth, and stay in the moment -- battling it out for the time being, and knowing retreat would come later.  That's what being an adult is about sometimes -- staying when you want to run, fighting when you want to retreat, and discovering you are stronger than you thought you were.

Link Love on a Cloudy Friday

Can an NBA team teach me how to be a better friend, wife, and parent?  Yes!
Click here for a fascinating article.


Y'all know how geeked I get about anything that has to do with writing.  One of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist answers some questions here about how she does her thang.


Ever heard of HisKids radio?  You buy the unit and it runs through your home's wireless internet, constantly streaming great Christian programs for your family.  Seriously considering it for us...but a little pricey....anyone else have one?  Maybe I'll just put it on the Christmas wish list :)

This book is smack-your-knee funny.  It's satire, folks, so don't get too hyper about it.  If you can't laugh at yourself, you might as well go live on an island!


The author, Jon Acuff has a website that rocks. He has all kinds of resources for bloggers, writers, and people looking to live out their dreams.  And if Dave Ramsey loves him, then he must be great, right?  (kidding...sort of...)

Truth is a Person

When Mary and Joseph bring their newborn son to Simeon for dedication to the Lord, they probably weren't ready for this:

"This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, but he will be a joy to many others.  He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him.  As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed..."  Luke 2: 34,35

Jesus is only days old, but it's clear He will not be welcomed by everyone. 

 With Jesus, there would be no neutral ground.  People would either joyfully accept him or totally reject him.  

We would either label him as the greatest liar and fraud the world has ever known...

or the physical manifestation of TRUTH.  

I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 14:6

Avoiding the Hills

This is not where I live, but I liked the picture.  Reminds me of the Shire, Frodo!

I took all 4 kids on a bike ride last night.  Aaron was at a meeting.  We've been putting both Jonny and Hope in the bike cart, but I am not super-strong like him, so I had J. ride his bike.  The older boys do great independently.  I just have to remind them not to get too far ahead.

The hills became a real struggle for Jonny.  First, he'd whine and cry about not being able to get OVER the hill, then he'd scream the whole way down because he was scared about going too fast. 

By the time we got close to home, he was crying just THINKING about the hills and how hard they would be.  "Can't we go home a different way, Mama??  I don't want those dumb old hills!!"

I couldn't help making a connection between our bike ride and life.  I would love to arrive home (Heaven) without the hills, the hard places that make me cry, make me ache.  Wouldn't we all like to avoid the hills?  But that's the path.  It's the only way.  There is no shortcut, and there is no way to make it easier.

Some people seem to have "less hills" in their journey, but who can really judge another's path? 

The promise is that the hill is not forever, and someday we'll put "the bike" away and fly to the arms of Christ.



A Hard Day

Mother's Day used to make me crazy.  

All this HOOP-LA for women who were somehow blessed by God to have children of their own.  Frankly, it made me crabby.  By the year 2000, we had been trying for 2+ years to have a baby and .....silence .....nothing.

I would pout every stinkin' Mother's Day and ask God, "When? Why?"

If I had listened closer, I might have heard, "Soon.  Because it's gonna be a wild ride."  :)

I think it's best to honor this day by thanking God for all the ways He's gifted women to "mother" others.  I feel like I've had many "children" -- high school students I've taught, young friends who've needed an old lady ;) to talk to, and other moms who needed some encouragement along the way.

I don't believe God calls every single woman to be a mother, but I believe He definitely calls every woman to "mother" someone.  I had a fabulous college professor who did just that - inviting students to her home for Bible study and great life discussions.

It's hard to remember the days when I was only responsible for little ol' me.  

But I'm grateful for the opportunity to influence these amazing gifts in my life now.

Who has "mothered" you besides your one wonderful mama?  

Who put their arm around your shoulders and made the load lighter?