The biggest obstacle to a great marriage is simple: selfishness. I mean, it's at the root of every problem or fight we've ever had.Just this past week I had to almost force myself to do a small act of kindness for him: fill the van up with gas. Especially in winter, I only fill up a vehicle if I really have to (so wimpy) and shrug it off as no big deal. But this time, my internal conversation went like this:
Aw, man, there's hardly any gas in this van.
That's OK, you're not going far and Aaron won't mind filling it up next time.
But I can see it's almost on E and it might be nice for him to find it filled up.
But it's COLD and....it's COLD!
Cold, shmold, be a woman and fill the tank.
I don't want to.
Grow up.
And while that might not seem like a big deal, those kinds of "internal conversations" have helped me grow up as a wife.
I just read a quote that stuck with me (and came back to me at the van incident): "Generosity is the signature of adult love. In supporting and encouraging each other, we learn the lesson generosity always teaches, which is that givers also, inevitably, receive." (-Kate Braestrup)
I pray I can live that out better the next fifteen years!
6 comments:
Oh man. I do this too - even down to not wanting to fill the gas. I get all virtuous feeling when I do something like that for MY Aaron, I tell him about it, and then he tells me that I just lost my treasure in heaven by talking about it! He's such a Nordic.
that just brought back memories when you, me, and emily felten took the school van to the gas station for a fill up during a boy's basketball game. It was the dead of winter, probably jan. or feb., tons of snow falling and already on the ground....and did the heat even work in that van? Anyway......kind of off topic, but it made me smile.
Excellent! And I LOVE the pictures of you and Aaron! I cherish couple pictures, because they're hard to come by!
Well said.
Oh I do this. A lot. Thanks Jeannie.
I found your blog via your Mom's Facebook page which linked me to your blog. I worked with your Mom at Bank One in Greenville and we have stayed in touch over the years. I don't know if you remember, but I attended your wedding with my daughter Aubrey who is getting ready to turn 16 on Feb 16th. Hearing that you have been married for 15 years brought back a memory of going to your wedding. I remember getting Aubrey dressed for the wedding in her Christmas dress and then I was getting showered and dressed. While I was showering, she chewed the botton covers off of her dress!!!!! I remember CRYING and almost not going to the wedding. I really enjoyed reading your blog and seeing your beautiful family.
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