The biggest obstacle to a great marriage is simple: selfishness. I mean, it's at the root of every problem or fight we've ever had.
Just this past week I had to almost force myself to do a small act of kindness for him: fill the van up with gas. Especially in winter, I only fill up a vehicle if I really have to (so wimpy) and shrug it off as no big deal. But this time, my internal conversation went like this:
Aw, man, there's hardly any gas in this van.
That's OK, you're not going far and Aaron won't mind filling it up next time.
But I can see it's almost on E and it might be nice for him to find it filled up.
But it's COLD and....it's COLD!
Cold, shmold, be a woman and fill the tank.
I don't want to.
And while that might not seem like a big deal, those kinds of "internal conversations" have helped me grow up as a wife.
I just read a quote that stuck with me (and came back to me at the van incident): "Generosity is the signature of adult love. In supporting and encouraging each other, we learn the lesson generosity always teaches, which is that givers also, inevitably, receive." (-Kate Braestrup)
I pray I can live that out better the next fifteen years!