Wednesday, April 14, 2010

building that which is invisible

Today I'm reflecting on a near-decade of staying home with my children - what I've done, what I've regretted. Five years ago, we were knee-high in boys: Greg was 4, Daniel 2, and Jonny had just made his entrance.
There were awful, ugly days filled with tears and yelling - and that was just me, Ha! But then there were days like this one (above) where I relished those simple, sweet days of Thomas the Tank Engine and cuddling with the soft baby skin of my little men. Days I lived for all 3 of them to nap at the same time! Sweet mother of mercy!!
Mothering is so hard because there's just precious little to tell you you're doing it right. You simply have to trust God with each day's decisions, and trust your heart as you listen to the little souls you are surrounded with each day.
I have made so many mistakes, so many selfish choices. I have had to rest in "good enough" and throw perfection out with the dirty diapers. I have also had the privilege of seeing a child glow in the light of love. I have seen a child believe in a God and a heaven they have never touched, never seen.
I have learned what it means to trust God in ways I never could have imagined.
One of my favorite books on mothering is by Katrina Kenison called "Mitten Strings for God." It always calms me down, reminds me what's important, what's not. Here's a quote I have never forgotten:
"It is not what I do as a mother, but who I am as a human being that will make a deep and lasting impression on my children. When I discipline my children, I must also be disciplined myself."


Susan said...

I so needed to read this today! Thank you! See my blog for further insight! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sue Simpson

Erin said...

your wisdom is heart touching. i love your words that say we have to trust God through each day, since there is little immediate feedback telling us that we were right or wrong and what we need to fix, etc. but relishing in those moments where my children speak of the Lord and seeing him someday and praying to him? Priceless and joyful.

Thank you, friend.

Rachel said...

I think it's SO important for us moms to give each other grace and credit more often than we do. We ALL need it.

PROPS to you, J. You're one of the best moms I know!