Sunday, June 25, 2006

For Women Only

I had to write a quick recommendation of this book I'm reading, For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. Written from a Christian perspective, it shares her findings from a professional survey done of hundreds of men on their opinions and feelings on a variety of topics.

I especially loved the chapter about respect, because this is such a HUGE issue for men that I didn't realize up until a few years ago. If a man feels disrespected, it feels the same as feeling unloved. For women, this is hard to understand because we are not wired that way. But men need to be shown respect the way women need to be shown love.

One section talks about how men don't want to ask for directions because they love figuring things out! If they can maneuver their way through an unknown territory with just a tattered map and their own instinct, what a victory! What a rush! And a woman saying, "Honey, could we please just stop and ask directions?" is like saying, "You can't do this! You don't have it in you!"

I'll never forget one day years ago before we had children. I had just bought beautiful new tennis shoes. I loved those things. They were clean, stylish. We decided to go for a walk and of course, I put my pretty new shoes on. We came to a place in our walk where we could go through a grassy part of a ball field, or stay on the paved sidewalk. Of course, Aaron being more adventurous than me when it came to the outdoors, he wanted to take the grass.

I pleaded, "Aaron - my shoes. The grass is soft and they're bound to get muddy." He replied, "No, you'll be fine. The grass is just a little wet, that's all." After much debate, I followed him into the grass and slowly began to feel my pretty little shoes sinking into the muck.

I flipped. I was so angry that he led me into this SWAMP, for crying out loud. I really turned into a brat at this point. I wouldn't even walk next to him; I walked ahead of him, snorting and huffing like a raging heifer. I'm so embarrassed by this episode, but it was something I'll never forget.

How different would this scenario have been if I had just laughed and realized, "Hey, these are SHOES, it's not a big deal." I would've saved us a huge conflict and helped him see that I trusted him NO MATTER WHAT because God gave him to me as my husband, my leader. I will follow Aaron to any swamp, jungle, forest, or ocean because I know he loves God and is seeking His will for our family.

Okay, I just read this story to Aaron and he replied, "And by the way, Aaron used a toothbrush to clean Jeannie's pretty little shoes when we got home!!" I said, "Your toothbrush??" "YES!" he says.

I love my husband.


Holly said...

Girl, you and I are sisters from another mother. The number of times I've done that exact scenario are just way too many to count!

Erin Haley said...

i know exactly what you mean! I read a book called "Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires/The Respect He Desperately Needs" and it talks about the exact same thing! It really opened my eyes to Will's perspective about things and helped me so much. Thanks for sharing, cause now i will have to get that book!

Erin Haley said...

p.s.-when we come up we'll have to share book titles and let each other know what's good!!!! I need recommendations:)

Will said...

This all sounds so fascinating! I wish it wasn't "For Women Only" :(

Pat Longfellow said...

Why do you have to be so much like your mother?! I know you do much better in this area but I wonder if I will ever learn.

Holly said...

interesting, I'll have to give it a look!

Angele said...

Wow, you've got some man, there! I'm pretty sure mind would have hosed the shoes off if anything:)

I've been wanting to read that book too, haven't gotten around to..some decade I might! I'm actually into getting books on CD or buying them MP3 for my ipod...I can listen in the car or doing whatever, multi-tasking at its best!