Parenting Myself

There isn't anything more humbling than parenting a small, testotrone-filled version of myself.  I am constantly reminded that this would be me, had I been a boy:

My first-born, ladies and gentlemen.  Your future President of something.

Remember that old cartoon, Pinky and the Brain? 

"What are we going to do today, Brain?"

"The same thing we do every day, Pinky.  Try to take over the world."

I'm convinced that he spends his free time dreaming up ways to take over this house, his siblings, and the world.  Put me in charge!  I could do this so much better!

He has so many great qualities - his lack of fear, his decisiveness and quick observations, his (sigh) excellent verbal skills. He is just so challenging to parent.  Always has been. 

So my most recent way of dealing with him is thinking to myself, "What would work for ME if I was in his shoes right now?"  Seems ridiculous, but it's actually helpful.  The first response is usually, "Let him cool down alone for a minute."  We passionate people normally act first, think later.  It's a curse.

And my husband, my dear soulmate, just stands back and smiles.  His most recent brilliant comment?

"They are my children when they are asleep.  They are your children when they are awake."

Hilarious.

Good thing he's so cute.

She Taught Me This

On Sunday morning, my Grandma went home to her Savior and home.  I have been comforted by the thought of what she's experiencing right now...seeing her beloved Lord, her siblings and parents, her daughter who died unexpectedly at the age of 18...

You can read more about her life here:

Dignity Memorial - Marjorie Stuart Obituary: View Obituary for Marjorie Stuart by Zechar Bailey Funeral Home, Greenville, OH

She taught me to be kind to everyone - the postman, the clerk at the grocery store, the stranger at the park.

She taught me to be modest and honor God with the way I dressed and presented myself.

She taught me that hospitality and making good food for people is a precious ministry we often take for granted.  Open your home, open your heart.

She taught me by example to honor and serve my husband.  Her God came first, and then she served my Grandpa, right up until she was physically incapable to continue.  She didn't complain; she didn't speak unkindly of him; she loved him and she respected him day after day. 

I am hard pressed to find many women like this anymore.

Well, I stink at this challenge today. 

One of the fun sides to this 15-day challenge has been reading the links each day and scoping out other blogs to see what folks are doing.  Now I need to contact some of my favorites and try to make a connection. 

Speaking of favorites, I'm working hard on getting through a big fat piece of literature this summer by one of my favorite Ameican authors - East of Eden by John Steinbeck.

Wow.  This really is the Great American Novel - all 600 pages of it.

I am just a little over half-way done and I'm wishing I had kept track of my favorite quotes.

It's what Steinbeck called "the first book," and it is in some ways a retelling of biblical account of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel. 

What classic is your favorite?

A Book For the Beach

This book has become a favorite in our house lately.  It's especially great for summer and trips to the beach. 

It's told exclusively through pictures - no words at all - so it's great for any age.  A little boy makes a discovery on the beach that will have your kids mesmerized.  It's a sweet gem.

In other news, the writing challenge is keeping me honest!  Yesterday's encouragement was to start ugly -- that anything beautiful and polished must start rough and ugly.  Just get it out, get it on the page!

Today's challenge is to build a body of work and to keep the writing habit. Consistency is truly the key to being successful at anything. 

Hopefully by Day 15, I will have formed a writing habit I can continue for life!

Love Them More

Kelly Clarkson is everywhere these days -- on the cover of magazines, in her new show Duets (which looks like soo much fun...) and telling everyone about how she lost 30 pounds. 

I have always been a fan of her tough, cool voice and attitude, but lately I am mesmerized by her wrist tattoo -- a cross with the words:  Love Them More

Today's writing challenge is to steal -- meaning, to look around you for inspiration.  Like an artist creating a collage or a mosaic, I gather up what is in my life and I make something new and beautiful to share.  So, I thought about this quote, which Clarkson says is not just in relation to her friends, but also to those who are not -- the nay-sayers and the haters. 

Hmm.  I don't know Miss Clarkson's heart, but that's some heavy spiritual truth right there.

Let "love them more" be the mantra in your head when you are feeling the opposite:

Your children are misbehaving and all your efforts seem in vain.  Love them more.

Your husband hasn't been as romantic as you'd like and you can't remember the last time you felt "in love." Love him more.

There's that girl again who hates your guts. What's up with her?  Love her more.

The people you serve (a class, a church, a family, a business) do not appreciate you or agree with you and you are wondering what God is up to. Love them more.

Your family thinks you're crazy -- they don't understand you and the way you live.  Love them more.

Loving others is hard.  It can only be done with God's strength - not our own. 

I won't go get a tattoo, but I will try to remember this -- to LIVE this -- today.

The Best Advice

One of the beautiful delights of summer is having time to put into my own writing.  Having this challenge has helped me create habits for a writing life that I want to continue throughout the calendar year - not just these precious days between the first and last day of school.

Today I am challenged to ship and tweak -- meaning, revise and edit the writing I have done, ship it out, and then start over again.  Doing this repeatedly will lead to a more productive writing life and confidence in myself. 

Right now, I'm preparing to send in a teeny piece of writing to Hallmark (see previous post) for a contest they are having. 

What is some of the best advice I've ever received?

Here they are -- give me your vote!

1.  In my sophomore year of college, I was struggling to decide on a major.  I didn't have a focus or a passion for anything.  My dad finally asked me what seemed like a basic question:  "What's been your favorite courses and professors so far?"  My answer came easily, "Oh, definitely my writing and literature classes."  He encouraged me to pursue a major in this area instead of worrying about a specific job after college.  This freed me up to enjoy my classes, get a degree, and eventually, become a happy high school English teacher.

2.  Closely observe how your boyfriend or fiance treats his mother.  If he respects and honors his mother, he will do the same to you.  But if he is rude and looks down on his mother, he will repeat this behavior to his future wife.

3.  Don't write anything in an email or on a social networking site that you wouldn't say in person.    Get out from behind the screen and call or visit someone in person if you have a conflict or a grievance. 

4.  When you interview for a job, make the first minute matter.  Enter with a warm smile, a good handshake, and nice posture.  Speak clearly and look him or her in the eye.  Be honest about your qualifications, and share your enthusiasm for the company.   Do your homework and ask questions of your own -- show your initiative!

Between Us Girls (Challenge Day 4)

It's late in the day, but I need to write.  I want to write.

Writing better really does take practice -- that's what today's challenge was about.  And I don't know why I can't get this through my head. 

The lazy girl in me doesn't want to really work for anything - I want writing (marriage, motherhood, teaching, fill-in-the-blank) to come easily, like a rolling river.  Instead, it's more like trying to drill for oil. 

Trial and error over and over again.

This week I got an email from Hallmark with news of a contest for a graduation book coming out next year.  It's asking for original work for three different categories.  What great timing!  The three categories are:

Between Us Girls

The Best Advice I Ever Got

I Wish I'd Known (What I Know Now)

Would you mind helping me pick which tidbits to enter?  The deadline is June 24th and I can enter one submission for each category. 

Here are my ideas for the first category: 

Between Us Girls

1.  The next time you go to the beach or the pool, observe how there are no two women built exactly the same.  Instead of comparing and complaining, get back in touch with your inner seven year-old and quit thinking about yourself so much.  Buy a snow cone and giggle with your friends.

2.   One day you will get your hair cut and you will hate it.  People will look at you sadly and ask, "Ohhh, why did you cut your hair?" You will want to hurt someone.  Take a deep breath.  Look in the mirror and say, "I am not my hair."  Decide to work it, girl, and not let your hair control your life.

3.  All the makeup in the world won't make you glow from the inside out.  You have the beautiful, terrible responsibility for bringing your unique gifts to the world.  Stop being afraid of yourself. When you know who you are and who you are not, you will shine and sparkle.  You will be undeniable, unstoppable, and irresistible.

Vote for your favorite in the comments section!

Day 3 - Initiate! (Thoughts on Friendship)

Alright, I will be perfectly honest.  I did not wake up 2 hours earlier this morning.  I've been waiting all school year to sleep past 6am, and as much as I love writing, I am not willing to do this.  Yet.  This link helped me realize how important it is to make writing a daily habit, even if I can't get myself out of bed. 

But as I thought about today's challenge, I thought about initiating in another way...initiating friendship.

I learned an important life lesson one day at a MOPS playdate in Houston, Texas.

We had just moved to the area and I felt like a hillbilly at a formal dinner.   All the women seemed so…accessorized.   I was busy chasing around my  two boys, who were 4 and 2 at the time and I was pregnant with my third boy!  Sweet Lord.  I was so lonely at home all day in a new town. 

Thank goodness for MOPS.  Another mom with a little boy started making small talk with me and said, “Sooo…how long have you lived here?” 

“Oh, we just moved in a couple of weeks ago from Michigan.”

“Really?  Do you have family here?”

“Nope.  The only person I know is my realtor.”  (Insert sad violin music, right?)

She blinked at me for a moment, then said matter-of-factly with a slight southern accent:

“Well, be my friend!”

I could’ve wept  into my goldfish crackers.  It was the most beautiful thing I’d heard in weeks. 

I’ve got to be more sensitive to others.  I must look around and ask the Lord who needs an arm around the shoulders and a heart that understands.  I have to forget what I need sometimes and meet the needs of others. 

And the funny thing is, that’s when I become more fulfilled anyway. 

To Believe or Not to Believe - Day Two

Oh my goodness.  Seriously?

I was going along this morning, peacefully reading  Day 2 of The Challenge, when this smacked me in the face:  wake up 2 hours earlier and write.  Not check the news, Facebook, or anything else...just write.  Two hours?  Does he know my life?  Does he know my kids? 

And then I realized this was pretty smart.  I'm sure a lot of folks drop out at this point, and man, I'm definitely tempted right now.

Declaring I am a writer is one thing.  I can say anything I want.  I am a runner.  I am a prayer warrior.  It's the action behind the declaration that means everything.

Believing you are a writer equals action.  There are some huge spiritual implications here!  I am feeling like the apostle Thomas tonight:  "I believe!  Help Thou my unbelief!!"

Well.

I guess I'll go to bed now.  Hmpf.

Getting in the Groove - Day One

Alright, Jeff Goins.  Here I am, ready for Day One.

Today's challenge is DECLARE.

Declare yourself a writer.

 I. Am. A. Writer.

Well, that wasn't too painful.  Except that once you say that, once you write that, people say things like, "Oh, what have you published?" or "What do you write?"

To which I respond with an answer that sounds something like, "mmmffffBLOGfmmmmnn."

Ridiculous.

But one look at this stack of books in my home (and the bigger stack in my classroom), and you'd think I was a professional writer with a full resume. 

Nope.  I love the craft.  My brain is filled with so many great nuggets of writing wisdom, I could write a book of my own.  But between motherhood and teaching, my own writing is random and rare at best.

So today is a declaration and a decision.  No matter how wack-a-doodle my life gets, I must make a space for writing.  I just have to write. 

 After all, what matters isn't what you do once in a while, it's what you do

EVERY DAY.

What should you STOP doing in order to START doing something important? 

I Want to Be Like Howard

Tony Evans

Andy Stanley

Chuck Swindoll

Joseph Stowell

David Jeremiah

Bruce Wilkerson

Chip Ingram

These men are contemporary Christian leaders with various ministries, but they all have something in common -- this man:

Dr. Howard Hendricks is a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary.  His students have the utmost respect and love for him as a teacher, role model, and mentor through the years -- just read that link to see what some of them have to say.

When Christians hear the names of the men in the first list, they immediately think of books or radio programs, but you won't meet many people who know the name Howard Hendricks.  And that's probably just fine with him.

I pray I can be like this...leave a legacy like this...pouring into others, humbling myself, making sure I am living a life worth copying and imitating, just as Paul suggests in the New Testament. 

Can I encourage someone to love their husband and children the way I do? 

Spend their money like me?

Pray and study God's Word the way I pray and study?

Drive like me?? 

Oh dear.

I'm sure Dr. Hendricks is not perfect.  I'm sure he's utterly baffled by the way God has used him.  But he was obedient to his call, kept his focus pure, and allowed God to do the rest. 

May we strive for the same!